


I'll Bring the Whipped Cream

by stardropdream



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Sex, Food Kink, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 13:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6286186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardropdream/pseuds/stardropdream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Alright, fine,” Aramis admits once Porthos pulls back to make a face at him, “This isn’t working.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Bring the Whipped Cream

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr under the prompt "Aramis is frustrated when his attempts to do food porn don't work". This is silly.

“Alright,” Aramis says, nose wrinkling, “but I am not putting a steak on my chest.” 

“Then this isn’t going to work,” Porthos says. “I don’t like whipped cream.” 

Aramis scoffs, shakes the canister of pre-whipped cream, and squirts a lopsided frowning face over his stomach, his nipples the eyes. “But, Porthos…” 

Porthos’ face twists and then he starts laughing, ridiculously, enough so that he actually snorts – something that only happens when he finds something really funny. He takes a moment to compose himself and then leans in, kissing Aramis for his troubles. It’s difficult to deepen the kiss as much as Aramis would like with Porthos giggling against his tongue, but it’ll have to do. 

Aramis draws back, lifts his eyebrows, and nods down towards his chest. The whipped cream is starting to slide around his stomach and leave a strange residue as the cream starts to melt. 

“You could have at least gotten the good stuff,” Porthos tells him as he slides his finger around the cream and guide it away before it starts to pool in his belly button. It gets caught in some of the hair leading down towards his cock and Porthos withdraws his finger, wrinkling his nose this time. 

“Porthos, my love,” Aramis whines, shimmies a little so that his pants fall down a little bit lower over his hips – all the better for Porthos to see that he’s already half-hard. “We talked about this.” 

“And yet I see no steak,” Porthos says.

“You’ll get some kind of meat,” Aramis tuts and lifts his hips to demonstrate – and then looks immediately horrified. Porthos looks up at him, clearly shocked by the terrible joke and metaphor. 

And then they both start to laugh, somewhat hysterically. The cream smears all over Aramis’ stomach as Porthos flops down against him and starts kissing him between his ridiculous chuckles. He bites at his lip, grinning as he tries to kiss him – sloppy and ridiculous. 

“You’re an idiot,” Porthos says, with only affection in his voice. Then he pulls back, squints down at Aramis’ chest. “I’m going to get your hair in my mouth.”

“Porthos, please,” Aramis whines. “Focus.” 

Porthos rolls his eyes, shifts back, and drops down onto his elbows. His hands cup Aramis’ waist, holding him in place and steady as he leans in and licks from his belly to his solar plexus. He mouths at his chest, his expression a strange mix between highly amused and slightly disgusted – by the taste of the cream and not Aramis’ skin, he so hopes. Aramis squirms, frowning. 

“Alright, fine,” he admits once Porthos pulls back to make a face at him, “This isn’t working.”

He will never admit that he’s pouting, but it’d seemed like a good idea in theory. 

“Sorry,” Porthos tells him. “You know I don’t like sweat things.”

“You like whipped cream sometimes,” Aramis pouts. 

“Real whipped cream, not the kind in a can,” Porthos reminds him, and drops a few sloppy kisses over his sternum and the hollow of his throat. Aramis closes his eyes and shivers at the feeling of his beard scraping over his skin. “Let me make it up to you.” 

“Hmm,” Aramis hums, curious. 

Then Porthos moves down him again and gives him a rather lovely blowjob and Aramis feels at least somewhat vindicated for his efforts.


End file.
